It seems quite easy for people my age to become used to the capitalist society in which we live. We’re a throw-away nation; a conglomeration of buyers of shit we don’t need. I am a prime culprit of this. I purchase shit I don’t need all the frickin’ time.
Why then, do I feel so guilty for spending prize money I (we) won in a competition?
It’s strange, we all think about what we’d do with the money if we won the lottery – with a million in the bank, the world would become our oyster, wouldn’t it?
Of course, if I’d have won the lottery, you’d have heard about it by now. I wish I had.
No, I refer to a small competition on my University Campus, run for a day by a pop-up company, #HSFPopUpOnCampus.
My friend Toby and I, who entered only because we were vultures drawn in for the free popcorn, took an innocent jovial photograph involving silly props.
Which is why I feel so guilty for having won. All we did was fuck around and take a photo. Suddenly, we get £100 worth of Amazon vouchers to spend? You can imagine my disbelief at earning something so easily. I’m flattered and honoured to be given something so unexpectedly. As the saying goes, ‘good things come in small packages.’ I’ve never blooming won anything in my life.
Toby, the real winner who entered for us, bless him, didn’t have to share any of it with me – but he did. Thank you. :’)
But as soon as he asked me what I wanted, I stalled. Just like anyone else, I undoubtedly have an Amazon Wishlist as long as my arm, but this situation wasn’t Christmas or my Birthday, I didn’t need anything! Immediately I turned my attention to other things. Did the Classics Society need any other things for the ball in March? Why couldn’t Toby and his squeeze use the money instead? Could we donate it?
I don’t want to sit here and pretend that I’m a humble saint who doesn’t want a thing in the world, but really, I’m genuinely confused about all this. Maybe it’s just positive vibes from the universe? Maybe luck is real? Maybe karma is going to totally fuck me over next week.
But for now, I shall sit here in disbelief, and thank my partner in crime, Toby, for being a total lad and talking me into getting free popcorn – (which incidentally we didn’t actually get in the end) and accept the gift of books and a few DVDs he has sent my way via a few clicks of the mouse.
Thank you, Universe.