Buyer’s Remorse

It seems quite easy for people my age to become used to the capitalist society in which we live. We’re a throw-away nation; a conglomeration of buyers of shit we don’t need. I am a prime culprit of this. I purchase shit I don’t need all the frickin’ time.

Why then, do I feel so guilty for spending prize money I (we) won in a competition?

It’s strange, we all think about what we’d do with the money if we won the lottery – with a million in the bank, the world would become our oyster, wouldn’t it?

Of course, if I’d have won the lottery, you’d have heard about it by now. I wish I had.

No, I refer to a small competition on my University Campus, run for a day by a pop-up company, #HSFPopUpOnCampus.

My friend Toby and I, who entered only because we were vultures drawn in for the free popcorn, took an innocent jovial photograph involving silly props.

Which is why I feel so guilty for having won. All we did was fuck around and take a photo. Suddenly, we get £100 worth of Amazon vouchers to spend? You can imagine my disbelief at earning something so easily. I’m flattered and honoured to be given something so unexpectedly. As the saying goes, ‘good things come in small packages.’ I’ve never blooming won anything in my life.

Toby, the real winner who entered for us, bless him, didn’t have to share any of it with me – but he did. Thank you. :’)

But as soon as he asked me what I wanted, I stalled. Just like anyone else, I undoubtedly have an Amazon Wishlist as long as my arm, but this situation wasn’t Christmas or my Birthday, I didn’t need anything! Immediately I turned my attention to other things. Did the Classics Society need any other things for the ball in March? Why couldn’t Toby and his squeeze use the money instead? Could we donate it?

I don’t want to sit here and pretend that I’m a humble saint who doesn’t want a thing in the world, but really, I’m genuinely confused about all this. Maybe it’s just positive vibes from the universe? Maybe luck is real? Maybe karma is going to totally fuck me over next week.


But for now, I shall sit here in disbelief, and thank my partner in crime, Toby, for being a total lad and talking me into getting free popcorn – (which incidentally we didn’t actually get in the end) and accept the gift of books and a few DVDs he has sent my way via a few clicks of the mouse.

Thank you, Universe.


10 Misconceptions Essex Has TOWIE To Thank For

This is actually true. I don’t know what this girl is on about. Of course I wear my stilettos to have a pooh! It’s The Only Way.

It's More Fun In Your 30s

1. All men go to the gym topless (and are stunning and ripped).

Now I don’t know if I am going to the right gym or not (jokes, I don’t go to the gym), but all the men in mine seem to be around 40 and wearing very dark t shirts with sweat stains. Not once have I seen an Adonis like Dan from TOWIE rip his shirt off and start doing weights.I did see a man once with quite short shorts on, if that counts?


2. All of the clubs play shit music and serve drinks in ‘Posh plastic’.

There really are some good nightclubs in Essex, so please don’t tar all of them with the ‘faces’ brush. I’m also baffled at where all these posh wine glasses have popped up from because I swear last time I went to Sugar Hut my drink was in a poundshop plastic…

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A Dark End to the Week

As some of you may know, I dislike Black Friday. This piece is merely to articulate my disdain towards the large companies taking advantage of the gap in the British market. May I point out that there is a gap there for a reason? As a nation, we never have, and I hope never will, celebrate thanksgiving. It is an American tradition, and though I tolerate some in this country, Black Friday is not one of them. Not only do people lap it up – because, hey, who doesn’t love a sale? – but also it’s just too damn near to Christmas not to take advantage of such jaw-dropping deals. What’s not to love?

Well, everything, as it turns out, as unfortunately, this smarmy little secret sale thing means that when I broke my phone charger this morning, an event which I can state is QUITE stressful, I endeavoured to search for a new replacement quickly on-line within my student budget. This seemed like an easy task, as I have mastered the art of on-line shopping, however on this one fateful Friday, the sycophantic Americans did it again by introducing a silly custom which left EVERY SINGLE ON-LINE STORE I went to unable to let me on to their site, due to the huge influx of customers buying SHIT. Shouldn’t customers that actually NEED something come before customers that just WANT something? (Of course, you can say I don’t need a phone charger if I don’t have a phone, but as a student, it’s my only way of contacting family quickly)

TESCO, AMAZON, ARGOS, ASDA… all these sites were chocka block full of people vying for the best deals. Credit to them, if I needed expensive gifts for people, I’d be a savvy shopper and do it on Cyber Weekend also, however after having seen pictures of people cramming and pushing to clear shelves in shops and supermarkets over in America, I fail to see how this tradition is loved. Thanksgiving is supposed to be about being thankful for what you already have, and then apparently forgetting all of that the day after in order to barge your fellow man out of the way to get the last packet of Oreos or the only tv left in stock. Imagine my disbelief when a friend told me the horror she witnessed at people in TESCO, in the UK, pushing and shoving to get into the store. This is capitalism gone mad. So fucking thanks, America, your disgusting custom is infecting the British people, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Mostly because you little fuckers probably put the Tea and biscuits on sale first. I believe Jessie J had it right the first time… Forget about the price tag.

Shock Horror

This week, and, it seems, almost every week, Kim Kardashian is in the news. Most self-respecting people roll their eyes and scroll past her name, some stop and look, others are fanatics. She’s always controversial, we get the picture…blah blah blah.

Normally, my opinion on Kim Kardashian is that she made a business empire out of nothing. A sex tape, a few celeb friends, and here she is 25 million twitter followers later with numerous fragrances/beauty/fashion lines and has globalised the Kardashian family name. Kudos to her.

Of course, the back story is kind of irrelevant, when you consider the fact that she has made herself a ‘sexual icon’. (Queue a few steps back for feminism). Of course, again, I watch her progress through life with mellow curiosity. However, this week Papermag wrote and article on her for which she stripped completely naked.

Even though she has had multiple surgeries and is criticized much for it, she still is a beautiful woman when she is photographed dressed at various events or out and about. But after having clicked on the article to read it, my curiosity turned to absolute despair. I was disappointed in her for stripping naked. It’s not that it’s vulgar, just that it’s unnecessary.

Moreover, the star that I once thought was beautiful, I now saw as completely plain. Yes, she has a big ass, and apparently gorgeous breasts and a decently sized waistline, but seeing her naked made me feel sorry for her. I did not think she was beautiful in the slightest.

We shouldn’t forget that despite appearances, Kim probably has a personality too, which is a part of her celebrity status also, but I saw none of that either. It should be noted that she has not disappointed me because I uphold a ‘unobtainable standard of beauty that the western world has brain-washed me into thinking’, oh no. This is me feeling genuinely sorry for a woman who I saw as a good (good, not great) role-model for young women aspiring in business. I guess she doesn’t mind all the people staring at her naked.

For those of you who want to read the article (and ultimately stare at her naked body) here is the link to Papermag.

Skinny Shaming Is Just As Inappropriate As Fat Discrimination

Thought Catalog

image - Flickr / Sebastian R. image – Flickr / Sebastian R.

“Oh cry me a river, skinny girl going to complain about being skinny,” is surely running through some readers’ minds. Welcome to skinny-shaming. And yes, based on the title of this article alone – I am fully prepared for the hateful comments and vitriolic “fan mail” to spam my inbox. But first, hear me out.

I just read a couple of articles entitled, “The Myth of skinny-shaming,” and “Why Skinny-shaming is Not the Same as Fat Discrimination.” One even went as far as calling being skinny a “privilege,” which according to the author, means that skinny people cannot complain about it – like being white, or a male. What is skinny-shaming though? It is an individual or group actively using someone’s weight to make the person feel like sh*t. Is that not by definition the same thing as fat discrimination? These articles proceeded by…

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This Knockoff Taylor Swift Song Sets Women Back Farther Than “Blurred Lines”

There are very little words to describe how misguided this artist must be for ‘putting her name to these lyrics’.

Thought Catalog

It’s been a while since we’ve had a cringeworthy music video to talk about, and country (ish?) artist RaeLynn has come through to fill that void with this super-regressive song about how girls are there to give guys someone to open doors for, tie their ties, and, I assume, never leave the kitchen. And unlike the other virally bad videos we’ve had recently, this is not by some production studio for rich kids to pretend to be pop stars. This is a real song, on VEVO, from a real production studio. RaeLynn is, from what I can tell, a real artist. And these are the kind of lyrics she is putting her name to.

If you don’t think it’s that bad, I suggest you watch it. Because, yeah. It’s THAT bad. [tc-mark]

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